Page from a Queen's Diary - Bit By The Racing Bug!
Well, we've got a sweet ride and we're ped'lin' just as fast as we can, now!
Henry Ford goes surfing over water, land, highway and sand, now.
Our kinetic kontraption would make da Vinci say "oh man, wow!"
And we'll have fun, fun, fun goin' surfin' through Corvallis today!
L-R: Elliot Naess and Emma the EmChantress. *
Emma the EmChantress near the Starting Line. *
Emma the EmChantress near Finish Line. Note we finally did KILL our Queen, Racing!*
July 21, 2007:
Kinetics is a powerful force. Perhaps that's why we call it Kinetics. Its gravity pulls people in deeper and deeper with every step. It's not uncommon to meet someone who just watched their first race, talking about building their own craft for next year's race. And some of them actually do it!
Me, I started off in the Kinetic Kingdom as an innocent spectator, not even wearing a properly wacky outfit. Soon I was swept into Queen Shaye's Royal Entourage (voted Best Entourage 2006, thankyouverymuch) and I quickly collected titles like Princess, Committee member, Queen and Seer. Now I have pedaled in my first race. I am officially a Kinetic Racer. In fact, I am a Racing Queen!
Da Vinci Days, the Kinetic event in Corvallis, Ore, was my first out of town race. I have only been to our Grand Championship before. Perhaps being the Mother Ship of Kinetics around the world for four decades, we here in Humboldt County are guilty of being slightly prideful. We are after all the original, and word on the street is our three day, 41 mile triathalon is most arduous by far, making incredible demands of the machines and their pilots. (Though I have heard rumors about a 21 day endurance challenge through the Australian Outback, a thought too terrifying for me to ponder with any real depth.)
Perhaps that is why I was so egregiously misled about the Corvallis race. I had been fed terrible misinformation, that the Corvallis race is okay, that the course is kind of flat and unimpressive. Ho hum, ho hum. I am so glad I have the opportunity here to set that straight.
Every Kinetic race around the world is completely unique and meant to be so. The Corvallis race is a supremely well run, well organized event, with plenty of clever ideas that I can't wait to steal and bring back to Kinetic Universe! It is centered tightly around the Oregon State University campus. At the epicenter is a festival of educational exhibits and live performances and tasty fried food on sticks, with the racers orbiting around, commuting to the course every day from the exquisite, oak filled campsite at the fairgrounds nearby.
I had the supreme honor of being asked to be one of four pilots on Kinetic Dad Elliot Naess' craft, the human-powered 1924 Model T we call Henry Ford Goes Surfing.
Elliot builds good, smooth machines and he's easy to work with, so I have seen knife fights break out over seats on the Henry and I would never have even asked for such an opportunity. Being Queen has privileges!
This Queen is not an athlete. Not even close. If she is warm and wet, she is probably in a bubble bath, not
sweaty from pedaling through grassy fields past sheep and llamas and cows. But I was determined to make Kinetic Dad proud. At the coffee truck before hitting the course for the first time, I ordered my favorite, a double vanilla latte in the largest available cup. ÒActually,Ó the barista said, Òour largest cup is a four shot.Ó
"Bring it!" I said.
The Armored Carp on the Sand Hill. *
Grand Champion Vikings from Klamath Falls, Oregon. *
Emma the EmChantress in the River. *
I was prepared to work hard, but I never expected the beauty of the course or the simple pleasure of the trip. I also never imagined how much I could appreciate the spectators. People! When you are out there in the middle of nowhere, sitting in a folding chair in a field and screaming and clapping for us as we pedal by, you have to know how good that feels! Your energy is that one last little push we need to make it through the course. Talk about people power!
Frankly, I am glad the Corvallis course is gentler than the Humboldt course. It was an appropriate place for me to get started. I confess, people, we drove past their sand challenge the night before, and we mocked it. Look at their sand hill, we chuckled. It's a little man made mound, perhaps ten feet tall if that. After our arduous Manila Dunes and the brutal approach to Dead Man's Drop, this looks like kid stuff.
Of course our pride was punished mightily the next day when, huffing and puffing less than a third of the way through that glorified sand box, POW! We broke a chain and had to push the Henry the rest of the way over! Serves us right.
At the end of day two, we attended the Racer's Dinner. "Meat, or vegetarian," the server offered. "Meat or vegetarian what?" I asked. "I don't know," she said. But I ate it. Ate it all. And that evening I discovered the exact combination of Ibuprofen and booze (by which I mean plenty of both) to help me dance through the night without being too sore to race the next day. I am still incredibly proud of myself.
There was so much fun and madness at da Vinci Days. How to even tell it all? Impossible. A few highlights:
Jason the Mud Jester completely covered in mud and even eating mud, offering guidance and comedy as craft after craft bogged down in the "tiny" mud pit.
The Viking entourage from the wooden Viking ship Draggin Wagon, charging into the mud with a hearty Viking cry, waist deep, pushing stuck crafts through. (Trend Alert: I'm telling you now, Vikings are the new Pirates.) They wound up taking Grand Champion of the race, and they deserved it!
The Peace Queens from the Port Townsend race. I spotted them as fellow Royalty from about a hundred yards away, seriously, they were so fabulous. They were representing their Rose Hip Queen, Willow, who passed away this year in the middle of her reign. The Peace Queens honored Willow beautifully and proved their Regalness, pedaling the Magic Bus and looking fantastic doing it, then dancing the night away back at the campgrounds while Magic Bus engineer Charlie cooked for everyone and their cousin and their cousin's dogs.
Riki and her Wok on the Wild Side crew turning the racers' camp into a Chinese restaurant, pulling it together after a hard day of racing to serve all the other racers a feast of soup and fried rice.
Watching June Moxon make it through the weekend almost single handedly, racing with no pit crew! Recruited her copilot on the spot at the start of the race. Dang, she's good.
My hideous shame for showing up at a race without bribes. What a crime! Bribing is a crucial part of Kinetics, and in the chaos of all the other preparations for the trip, I forgot to make them. Horrors! Thank goodness the lovely people of Corvallis didn't let on if they noticed or minded.
The Vomit Comet. Remember those lethal playground spinners where you fly around at a zillion miles an hour till you puke and fall off or fall off and keep puking forever? Well an eight-year-old kid going by the handle Captain E designed a kinetic craft that is, in essence, one of those, with two adults and three children spinning while one pilot pedals from behind. Overheard before the Grand Le Mans Start: "No! Don't eat before we start!"
The river
Ah, the river. That's all I was really there for, to ride the Henry down that ramp, plunging into the river, riding peacefully downstream, then pedaling up the bank with everything we had. This was all I needed out of this whole trip, maybe even my whole reign: Just one photo of me, in the Henry, on the water. What a gas!
As we suited up in our flotation vests before splashdown, racing legend Duane Flatmo stopped by to shoot the breeze. (You know those Kinetic Lab guys, Flatmo, Moxon, and Ken Beidelman. I call them the Holy Trinity of Kinetic Racing.) "So this is your first time racing?" Duane asked.
"Yes," I said. "This is it! Any advice?"
"Don't sink," he grinned. I would have chucked something at his head if he hadn't quickly followed up with some sound, practical advice on how to attack the exit ramp.
At the award ceremony that evening, we won "Mom's Delight," which means that Henry Ford was the favored craft of the mother of Graand Wizard Raan Young, who is credited with bringing Kinetics to Corvallis. Thanks for the $40, Mom!
Then we hit the highway so I could be at my day job in Arcata the next morning. Yeah, I am a rock star. Paused at a truck stop for snacks on the way home, still in my gold satin Queenly garb, my hair a little lighter and my skin a little darker after three days in the sun. "I have to ask," the woman behind the counter said. "Where have you been?"
Where I am going next is Port Townsend in October, which has been billed to me as "a three day party with a four hour race at the end." I can definitely deal with that!
Rutabaga Queen Emma the EmChantress, a.k.a. Emma Breacain, wears her scrapes and bruises and crown, all with tremendous pride.
* All photos this page by Ellin Beltz
Thank you for reading all the way down here... See you on race day!
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