A compendium of little known, long-lost, facts retrieved from a box found washed up in Arcata, labeled "Kinetic Archives - with Love from the Man-Eating Clams."
In the contents of the box were a number of water-logged papers, photographs, odd bits and pieces of sculptures long lost. Too damaged to restore were some crib sheets in Linear Clam B, rating the various entries through the years. Negotiations with the Clams for additional material is ongoing.
25th Anniversary Calendar - 1994
1994 will be "Dale "Grandpa" Olsen's fifteenth Championship Kinetic Sculpture Race. His current machine took over 100 hours to build. Currently stored with the Kinetic Bus in Ferndale. Dale was born in Ferndale and was 67 years old in 1994.
Dale's First Flying Machine was a Kite and he followed racers around the course in a car. Next came a one man "flying Machine," awarded the "Best use of Duct Tape Prize."
Rampmeister Blake Earhart was Assistant Head Referree at the 25th Anniversary Race in 1994.
The First Cross-Country Race, Easter weekend in 1974 was 18 miles to Field's Landing. Three machines: Watergate Streaker (1st), Great Bandini Pedal Power Walking on Water Machine (Hobart) came in 9 hours after the Watergate Streaker. Kinetic Yo Yo had an incredible journey; it sank was recovered and raced in the street race the same year.
The 1974 Street race won by Hobart Brown and Jack Mays.
In 1994, Mother's Day events were held in Eureka (Old Town), Arcata, around the Plaza and Garberville.
The Second Cross Country Race, Easter Weekend 1975, 8 Machines: Titled "The Fields Landing to Ferndale Swamp Race, or Askew in the Slough."
The Kinetic Address
_____ Score and ____ Years ago, our Glorious Founder, Hobart Brown, brought forth to this County a New Race, conceived in insanity, and dedicated to the proposition that all Mechanical Nightmares definitely are not created equal.
We are about to engage in a great Battle of Wits, testing whether our Machine or any other Machine so creatively built can long endure the Mighty Test of this course before us.
We have gathered here today before the Noon Whistle, beginning the Fight of Mind, Muscle, and Will-Power against our Machines and the Elements of Mother Nature.
The World will little note nor long remember the struggles that have taken place or that will take place during the next three days.
It is for us to be dedicated to the Greater Challenge of this undertaking. From those who have failed before us, we take an increased resolve to remember the Race Golden Rule, "Cheating is a privilege, not a right!" They may have raced in vain, our efforts may also be in vain, but we remember that this is one Race that shall go through a process of rebirth each year, of the Insane, by the Insane, and that shall not perish from this Earth!
For the Glory!
How "For the Glory" Got Started!
First all women's cross country machine was the Laguna Balloona: Barbara Ludwick and Sheri Keim, pilots - 1975.
This is how/where the statement "for the Glory" got started. It was all guys out there but for Barbara and Sheri. When a news reporter asked Barbara why she was doing what she was doing - pushing knee deep in sand - she replied "For the Glory!"
The Glory Hymn
Lyrics by Judy "Teddy Bear" Kofford and Wendy "End of the Rainbow" Taylor
Sing to "John Brown's Body/Battle Hymn of the Republic"
ONE
Our eyes have seen the Glory the Kinetics Race can bring,
Through the toil and the efforts of those in our gathering,
The ties of friendship bind us because Glory is our thing,
Keep Kinetics Rolling On
Chorus:
Glory, Glory, That's what we are all about,
Glory, Glory, Let us hear the Faithful shout (all shout "Glory!")
Glory, Glory, That's what we are all about
Keep Kinetics rolling on!
TWO
From the Plaza in Arcata when the noon whistle doth blow,
To the Ramp in Fields Landing where the Bay is deep and cold,
To the finish line in Ferndale where all Glory will unfold,
Keep Kinetics rolling on!
CHORUS!
THREE
Though we may be moving slowly as we cross the finish line,
We have conquered water, sand and mud - and slithered through the slime,
We'll fight sun, wind, rain, or 'skeetos just to reach the end in time,
Keep Kinetics Rolling On!
CHORUS!
Hobart's Big Machines
People-Powered Bus
Built in 30 days for the 1981 race from chrome-moly steel, it originally ran on tires, later converted to culvert-pipe wheels. The bus last raced in 1992, converted from a pull bar/collector bar system to a bicycle pedal system and with its big old paddlewheel converted to two propellors at the same time. It weighs 2,500 pounds without the fifteen people in the seats.
Quagmire Queen
The Quagmire Queen was 1.75 tons, center articulating, ran in this color scheme and also as the Leprechaun Limousine, as seen on Good Morning America with Steve Fox.
Calistoga Mineral Water Truck
Built in 1990 and raced in 1991 as well, weighed about a ton, 8 foot wheels, 8 feet wide, 12 feet high and about 30 feet long. Twelve pedalers work was combined into one collector bar which drove only one rear wheel. It nearly flipped at the water entry in 1992 when one of its pontoons came off and all the pilots got dumped into the Bay! The truck was displayed at Calistoga Water in Calistoga California at the time of the 1994 - 25th Grand Championship Race.
Kinetic Kastle
The Kastle was used to sell merchandise along the route for many years. Partially restored in 2007, hopes continue for a return of this vintage machine.
Biggest Kinetic Machine
First 6 person Ace Machine -Yakima's Nightmare of the Iguana - Ken Beidelman 1992 - 75 feet long, one ton, six pilots.
Yakima Glory
Yakima began sponsoring in 1992 and by 1994 was one of two (with Calistoga Mineral Water) major sponsors.
Ken Beidelman was known as "Flipper Beidleman" for several years at the beginning of his career and took the Sand Flipper for creative landscaping at Dead Man's Drop in 2007.
George and Jinger Stevens' Fantastic Machines
The Counterfeit Cadillac was built by George and Jinger Stevens who also raced the Flying Frenzy (Red Baron plane, 1983) and the ZeeBee (looks like a plump honey bee, 1985) and the Flying Saucer (correctly named "They Came From Out-O'-Town" in 1992). George worked in Hollywood, after graduating from HSU in Arcata in 1988, on such films as "Back to the Future II" and "Toys." In 1990, George built the Cadillac on an abandoned body of a real car. The fiberglass shell weighs only 100 pounds, the total weight is 800 pounds including the chassis, although it floats well, it was never easy to drive on land and the paint job it had when last in the Museum was applied by local Gas Station Owner Mr. Tipple to make the Caddy look like a California Highway Patrol Car. It was converted to a four-person drive at the same time.
COORS Years
Bad weather on a 2 day weekend was the excuse to expand to three days and Memorial Day was considered ideal being between the end of the rainy season and the official opening of mosquito season on the North Coast.
So the race switched dates, started from the mouth of the Mad River, in a small park, over sand dunes including the Dread Dead Man's Drop, and a race to the Eureka Inn for a wee party. Day two, race to Field's Landing, brave the man-eating clams awaiting hapless racers in mighty Humboldt Bay. Survivors arrived at the "Lagoon Saloon" and Camp Coors. After a legendary party, the race continued on day three, crossing the mile-wide Eel River and taking on the mud of Slippery Slimy Slope, glory-encrusted racers arrived on Ferndale's Main Street in time for the annual party at the Palace Saloon. ABC's Good Morning America's Steve Fox regularly covered the event; some of Hobart's largest machines: The People Powered Bus and the Quagmire Queen took shape and raced during this time.
Early 80s, Coors pulled out or was shoved away due to changing societal mores and local funds took the race from the early 80s into 1987. The Boulder, Colorado race started as did some short lived events, including one in Arizona and other places.
In 1987, Calistoga Water Company led by their local executive Bob Pusey took over sponsorship and race policy shifted to "no alcoholic beverages sold by concessionaires or race administrators." The insurance company was happy and the event became more "family friendly" than it had in the Beer Years.
Rutabaga Queen Rules 1994
The Contestants in a long and honored tradition must demonstrate skills that are real important to have when you are going to be royalty:
The ability to stand out in a crowd;
some talent (any!);
wit - a sense of humor;
style (if any);
knowledge of world or local affairs (you do have to name names though);
understanding of the phrase, "It's what you bribe and who you bribe that matters;"
nothing else to do on Memorial Day weekend.
Thank you for reading all the way down here... See you on race day!
The First Cross-Country Race, Easter weekend in 1974 was 18 miles to Field's Landing. Three machines: Watergate Streaker (1st), Great Bandini Pedal Power Walking on Water Machine (Hobart) came in 9 hours after the Watergate Streaker. Kinetic Yo Yo had an incredible journey; it sank was recovered and raced in the street race the same year.
