All about kinetic sculpture races - artistic human-powered vehicle competitions - worldwide!
Look, out on the Bay!
It's a boat, it's a bike
- it's a bathtub and a bedframe - that one looks like a buffalo - and they are heading this way!
Save yourselves!
An essay by Elliot Naess
There is a time and a place for everything, we learned long ago. Systems. Propriety. Organization. Some of these ideal arrangements are harder to figure out than others, but many are quite easy. The place, for example, for a set of bicycle pedals, would be on a bicycle.
Yes? No? Maybe.
You see, there is this Sport, Hobby, Art Form, or perhaps Behavioral Disorder, where a good place for bicycle pedals would be in the belly of a giant dinosaur on pontoons. Of course, Your Opinion May Vary. But maybe you would enjoy seeing some fools splash themselves into Humboldt Bay atop such a Contraption -- so long as it is they who get wet, while you get a good laugh. There. Now you're hooked.
Such an activity really does exist, and has even thrived for almost 40 years.
History and Excuses
The Kinetic Grand Championship was initiated by metal sculptor Hobart Brown in Ferndale, Humboldt County, on the North Coast of California. All Hobart did, at first, was change his son's tricycle into a goofy five-wheeled contraption. Ashamed of his midnight fantasies, he hid the child's toy. Later at a party Ms. Marty McGonagh (sp?) rode the Pentacycle around inside the gallery. At that moment, bronze sculptor Jack Mays pronounced himself "not impressed," and a friendly challenge to race "kinetic sculptures" (Jack's words) down Main Street, Ferndale on Mother's Day.
Word spread. Eight more contestants showed up and ten thousand spectators came out of the woodwork. Next thing, grown men were racing each other down Main Street on home-made pedal-toys in the middle of the town's annual Art Festival. The spectacle drew great laughs.
After that first Kinetic Sculpture Race, the disease has spread ever since. There are races all over the US, and even in other countries.
These days, the Kinetic Grand Championship runs every Memorial Weekend, starting in Arcata and ending on Main Street in Ferndale three days and 42 miles later. Forty to fifty entries are typical, with anywhere from one to ten people on each contraption, and there are usually several survivors. Just kidding. But we really do ride pedal-powered sculptures over land, sand, mud and open water, while wearing Silly Costumes and singing Silly Songs. Sure, many people would do this for enough money -- witness Television. But there is no money. And the trophies are homemade works of art by local sculptors, considered trinkets by outsiders.
So the question is "Why would otherwise sane adults do this?"
One answer is: To show children that adult can still play, so the kids will not be afraid to grow up. However, some adults seem to have lost this ability.
Says one seasoned racer: "Most adults only imitate the games of children, with carefully measured balls and precisely weighed -- and sometimes corked -- sticks. Kinetic racers actually PLAY!,"
But don't take his word for it -- for he stole that somewhere.
"Unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them....,"
Henry David Thoreau wrote that a century and a half ago, in the first chapter of Walden.
A well established (and copyrighted) phrase is that we do it for the Glory of it (fair use doctrine). That's just one of the many underlying themes of the sport -- we race for the applause showered upon us by the spectators. Of course, if that were the real and only reason, it would be sad, and racers would all be in need of therapy. But another way to describe the sport is to compare it with theatre. Rolling interactive comedy. The pursuit of applause is part of the act. And the applause is frosting on the cake.
Thousands of people do indeed line the race course and cheer their heads off. The sensation this generates in the participants, I assure you, is anything but frosty.
Summing up the Basics
The Kinetic Grand Championship -- and related races -- are a bunch of perfectly sane people who stay that way by deliberately doing something perfectly crazy. The vehicles must be powered by humans only -- any number of people. And the vehicles are amphibious, and capable of traversing rough terrain. And artistic. Or at least funny.
Sport
Dead Man's Drop, in the middle of the first day of the Grand Championship, is particularly good sport. It is not only steep, but it also curves to the right, while sloping to the left. Some teams, with top-heavy machines, resort to rappelling down. Pieces of equipment are said to be still lodged in tree-tops from races years ago. Those who manage to body-English their way down and burst with brisk speed from the shrubbery at the bottom of the Drop, bask in The Roar Of The Crowd!
Water Entry is also a Main Event in the sport. There is a trophy for biggest splash. Some racers pride themselves on NOT testing their craft prior to the race -- and sometimes it turns out that they ought to have at least checked if the Silly Thing would at least float upright.
Then there are the Sand Dunes. And Loleta Hill, a mile-plus, 8%-and-up grade. Did I mention that all this is done with pedal power?! Thus, the Kinetic Grand Championship is an athletic sport. And going down the other side of Loleta Hill, is an "extreme," sport!
Hobby
The Kinetic Kontraptions are all made by hand. Some folks build with two-by-fours and lag screws under a shade tree. Others employ well-equipped shops with computerized machinery. All participate equally. In fact, not many activities can be so readily shared among people from different walks of life.
The engineering patients among us concentrate on the mechanical aspect, and all the normal people work on the art -- sculpture, costumes and pageantry. You can build anything out of chicken-wire, paper and cheap-yellow-glue-by-the-gallon. And anybody can do it.
That said, we have noticed that a disproportionally large percentage of participants are teachers. This has to be a good sign!
Art
Many Kinetic Sculptures consist of two parts: the Chassis and the Art. Racers use the same chassis year after year and just put new Art on it when the fancy strikes them. The chassis can be ridden without the Art. This is the most common approach. The Art can be built from anything -- chicken wire, papier-mache found objects -- and of course, paint and glitter and so forth.
The other approach is to blend Art and Chassis in one coherent design, where the shape of the chassis IS the artful design. If, for example, you scale a child's tricycle up to 20 feet long, it can not easily be anything but a giant child's tricycle. (How you ride it is your next challenge.)
Of course, any degree and variation is possible.
Pageantry
Pageantry is important. This is Theatre, remember! Ever been to a Renaissance Fair? Sew costumes and compose songs and skits -- all to go with the theme of your Racing Sculpture.
Rules
While famous outlaws can get away with the statement "We don't need no stinkin' rules," due to the never-ending creativity of our kinetinauts, several pages of rules have grown over the years. Never-mind, we enjoy flaunting as many as possible, for in this race, "Cheating is a right, not a priviledge."
In fact, successful racers do not attempt to bribe the judges with store-bought cookies. Good racers bring home-made cookies with Love in them and other significant trinkets for their bribery!
Lights. Required by Highway Patrol in case you are still on the road after dark. Headlight and tail light. Modern bicycle lights work well.
Slow Vehicle warning triangle -- approved reflective type. Buy at any farm equipment or truck supply store. Mounts point up on rear of vehicle.
Personal Floatation Devices, aka Life Jackets. Coast Guard approved, proper size for each pilot, sound condition.
Good brakes.
Reliable steering.
Drinking water -- at least one quart per pilot each day.
Road flare -- in case of breakdown on public road after dark. This is another Highway Patrol requirement. We enjoy great support from the CHP, and we take their safety rules seriously.
Horn or loud bell.
A two-gallon bucket -- for putting out camp fire and/or bailing out boat. Yep, for real rule.
Compass -- for navigation in fog. Yes, can happen.
Towing attachment ring on front of vehicle, above water line and brightly marked. Will happen!
Ace:
In a nut shell, to Ace the course means to complete the entire race by pedal power. If you feel ready for this, you mark this on your entry form, pay an extra buck, and the judges watch you closely for any illegal pushing. To Ace, you must follow some of the slightly silly rules, primarily about carrying equipment with you on the Sculpture at all times, including:
All the gear you need to complete the course, such as, but not limited to, pontoons, sand tires and mud cleats.
Sleeping bag for each Pilot.
Toothbrush for each.
Copy of the Rules, in plastic.
A Teddy Bear or equivalent object of personal comfort -- in case you became frightened.
In fact, these items are recommended for all teams to keep the Judges happy, even if you don't intend to Ace. Specially the Teddy Bear. To race without one would be so... unseemly.
Official Stuff
"A beloved child has many names," goes an old saying -- meaning nick names and terms of endearment. And so it is with the Sport/Hobby/Art-Form you have just stumbled onto.
Kinetic Sculpture Race
Kinetic Kontraption Derby
Kinetic Challenge
The Joe Blow Memorial Human Powered Amphibious Crash-N-Burn
The list goes on and on, and many of those names are trademarked. We'll leave that to the lawyers, and welcome you to the 40th Annual Kinetic Grand Championship in 2008. It's the 40th Annual, because no matter the official name, this race has been held every year since 1969 and somewhere back in the dawn of time, they had two grand championships in one year.
And we would love to see even more Kinetic Events take place around the country. Contact us so we can coordinate our efforts!
Just remember that there is a place for Systems, Propriety and Organization. And this ain't it.
